Anniversary Gift to my Spouse

Anniversaries mark significant events in our lives. Some are cause for celebration and happiness, and others remind us of tragedy that is difficult to forget. This anniversary arrives with a bit of both…

We are together this year to honor another year as Husband and Wife. This is a special anniversary simply because you are still here.

On the other hand, this is the anniversary of your time away, and a reminder of where you were (and probably still are) inside yourself. You were not with me, and so unhappy because of me that you compromised principles and habits to flee in an attempted escape to who knows where. Last year could have been the last year of our marriage.

Now, almost a year has past. This is a time to accept that many things have not changed—for both of us. Now more than ever, we both need clarity that we cannot give to each other together, so it is time to seek that clarity within ourselves. I acknowledge my too deep feelings for you, but realize these are withering fruits on a vine. You do not care for me as a husband for his wife, and will never truly be there for me, so I freely give you your freedom. You no longer have to pretend, or feel the need to deceive, or feign amnesia so you do not have to talk about what was and is. This is the freedom to “be.” Only you can choose what that freedom means to you.

So this anniversary is an end and a beginning…I need to end the pain of acknowledging who you are and realizing who you are not. You need this so you can get on with being who you were meant to be…without guilt or self-deception.

I knew I would have to let go of the things that happened, but feared that in the letting go, bits of you would also fall away, and I would be left with only numbness. Now I must take that risk, because I must accept the way things are. I also acknowledge that we have been the deepest of friends and truly value that above all. This is where My Beginning will be.

We both need to gather the true Essence of our Selves, and grow toward our Highest Self and Purpose, to decide what we want to do with our lives, even if the probability is that this Life will not include each other. I pray that Divine Intervention will ensure that we will be together for many more anniversaries.

With too much love and too many imperfections,
Your Wife