In my travels, I came across a very interesting blog about relationships. An article with the above title caught my eye, but for likely very different reasons than the blogger, searchingwithin, intended. I have heard this phrase several times from woman outside our marriage.
I am currently in a marriage marred by deception and infidelity. I thought we were soulmates and had a relationship built on mutual respect, so was trusting of all my husband's female "buddies." Even when things got a little too chummy, when so much time was being invested in the outside relationships, I still trusted him. He said there was "nothing" going on between them, there was nothing for me to be concerned about.
With several of these so-called "friends," I had chances to talk with them, to find out more about the nature of their relationship with my husband, and actually asked them about it.
Some were really just friends. However, there were several women whose explanations had a very different tone, who acknowledged explicitly that they loved my husband. Although they all had a unique story to tell about him, each and every one ended up saying the same phrase: "Oh, oh, I love him, but I am not IN LOVE with him." In retrospect, I do feel this was a cop-out.
I am aware that at least one of these women was having a full-blown relationship with my husband, with his planning to leave me and be with her. He spent a great deal of time with her. And this is what I could confirm.
Who knows about the rest who also "love him, but are not in love with him?" Ah, but this is where this story ends, because I have reached a point where it does not matter. I am not concerned about the others any more, and whatever I say or do or feel has never mattered to any of them--even my husband.
Nothing matters now except moving forward, in peace without pain, without doubt, with my Self intact. That is for the spring to bring...
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